In keeping with the ‘summer from hell’, my submissions took an equally brutal battering, with a handful of rejections to face-slap my reserves. But, I am, if nothing else, a resilient fecker, and have lived through enough in life to know that when it gets nasty (as it will inevitably do at times), you’ve just got to press on regardless. They say blood is thicker than water… but skin is the only real defence you have, so sometimes you have to grow an extra layer or two in preparation for when it gets flayed.
I am writing, I am not sure if any of it will be published anywhere, I still have an idea for a ‘bare-all’ poetry book, laying down those difficult moments, and the thoughts of my inner mind whilst at its darkest, but I’m just not confident on a) the readership; b) the desire to expose it all.
On both levels it feels exploitative. I would be feeding a market of those people who seem to relish reading about others real pain, whilst at the same time feeling like I am doing at the detriment to my own psyche.
On the upside I have started working a novel that is genuinely exciting me, which is something that hasn’t happened for a few years, so hopefully it may actually come to fruition. It is still the very early stages, but there are chunks of it already well-formed, and potentially I am thinking about working some my own recent experiences into the character’s experiences, thus finding a creative outage for my pain, but without it being directly related to me. Of course, I have now digressed that information to anyone who reads this! Never mind, I don’t think anyone reads this anyway. 🙂
Enjoy the coming of Autumn. Namaste.